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[03/02/2006 @ 8:08pm] |
THE STARTING LINE + COPELAND TOMORROW NIGHT!
ohhh gooodnessssss. orgasmmmm.
I'm soo fucking stoked.
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[02/16/2006 @ 6:17pm] |
COME OVER.
ANYONE.
I feel like running outside and dancing.
for no reason.
I'm happyy.
It's my mom's birthday =]
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| hate is a strong word. |
[01/29/2006 @ 9:11pm] |
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mood |
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 stressed |
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music |
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Iron & Wine |
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hate.
not that many people truly can say that they have that feeling for someone. Alot of people claim to, but don't even know the extent of it. That's soemthing to think about.. who do you hate? If anyone?
So anyways.
My grandparents are ignorant fucks. I find it ridiculously sad that they don't even know they're on daughter and do not listen to anyoen when they talk. They serve no true purpose in life to me right now, and I honestly don't care about them anymore. I'm here in their house because I have to be, not because I choose to be. When I leave here, this is it. I will not speak to them anymore. I don't need them. And it's not like I'm their favorite. I'm their least favorite. They think I'm like my mother, and they hate my mother. Maybe its the generation gap, or maybe the want me to be something I'm not. I dont know. But if they want me to be like them, it'll never happen. Ever. @#!#!@#!@
I just want to scream in their face and call them stupid fucking cunts and tell them I hate them for doing this to my mom. SHE'S YOUR FUCKING DAUGHTER. you're supposed to love your children unconditionally. I know that my mother has done some fucked up things in her past. but she's trying. And it's not helping when someone who is already bi polar is constantly hearing bad things about themselves from her own god damn parents you ignorant fucks.
Anyways, this weekend was okay.
Hung out with the boyfriend and the rest of Seffner Scum at Kevo's then we went and built fireee! RAHHH!
and then last night, sick as fuck.. hung out with dylan, nick and wes at Kevo's. Andddd I watched saw 2 all by myself while dylan was asleep beside me snoring and I was scared as a motherfucker.
today- slept.. did homework.. pinned wes' pants.. and argued with the grandparents.
AWESOME.
let's do some drugs.
fuck this.
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| long fuck time. |
[01/19/2006 @ 7:27pm] |
hahaha.
been a while since I posted in livejournal.
not much to say.
many girls hate me now. lmfao.
awesome.
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| hahah. |
[12/05/2005 @ 8:05pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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heavy heavy low low |
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There's beauty in the break down.
The Emancipation Law shouldn't be the way it is in Florida. In Florida, in order for a youth to become emancipated, one must get their parents to both sign. Not everyones parents want them to leave them, you fucking idiots. I don't see how that even works. Not very many truly disfunctional parents are really down for signing their rights to their children away. My mom wouldn't. Also, you have to have a job, and live yourself. Which is very well in the aspect of having to have a job, because how else would you take care of yourself without your guardians, but the living alone thing, what if your parent(s) won't let you move out? Then what? Are you still fucked? Why, yes you are =].
Scarred..
Attention: School of Tampa aka Skatepark of Tampa kids.
I personally believe that 3/4 of you are by far the most ridiculous fucking kids I have ever met in my entire life, and you should go kill yourself within the next 5 minutes. You spend most of your day worrying about what other people do, in order to make yourself seem cooler because you know what's up in the world. When technically you don't know a god damn thing. Grow the fuck up, fix your life that I garauntee is probably real shitty, then worry about yourself for a change besides talking about what I do, or supposably have done. However theres aobut 3 people that I know from the skate park who aren't idiots, and I truly love you kids to death.
Hahahaha. jokes.
My family is exhausting.
I don't want to be home.
Let me live with you? Please?
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| new layout means new post. |
[11/17/2005 @ 6:05pm] |
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mood |
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drained |
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music |
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Panic! at the diso! |
] |
It's been fucking forever. I'm doing okay, I'm actually really sick right now. I have bronchitus and it suuuucks. I went to the ER today because I couldnt breathe, but they pretty much said.. umm sorry but hey you have scoliosis. So I have to deal with that too now. Haha so Im just coughing and hitting this inhaler like its a crack pipe son.
Matthews Back Whaaaat?! Good news. I adore that boy more than I should. And I'm seeing him this weekend I think. It's greatt. <333 We're actaully not fighting like we used to. Things actually could not be any better with that.
Home style.. is gay as fuck. Gramz and grampz are fucking insane. And i'm over them and their shit. I just don't talk to them at all, I do what I want. Get the fuck over it. I'm not fucking up, I make good grades. Who cares? They need to realize how unhappy they are with themselves and then try again.
Schools going okay, I'm supposed to be presented my academic letter tommorow, but I doubt I'll go because I'm sick. I don'tr eally care if people know that I'm smart or not. Thats all it really is, a big show put on so everyone can congradulate us for not being morons. Who cares? Honestly. Aren't you expected to succeed in school? I know I am. So I don't really need everyone to say hey good job on not fucking up WOO! I also got nominated for Who's Who National American Scholars. Which only 5% of American Highschool students get. Now that one I'm actually kind of proud of. Because it puts me in a book and sends it to colleges like all over thecountry. Hell yes. Send me money yo'. I think I just want to go to UCF if I can't go to a higher ranking school, but we shall seee.
Other than that, nothings going on really. OH yeah. Kortney's going to calm down with the crunkness for a bit. I'm ruining my body. Sorry. I'll still chill and hang.. I just won't get drunk with you kids anymore. NOt for a little bit atleast <3 Just till I get myself healthy again. I won't be much fun if I'm dead. hahah.
Okay, well this is kind of long I think, so I'll jsut end it here. You won't read this, much less comment. But hey. FUCK YOU. <3
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| SHIT! |
[10/29/2005 @ 8:33am] |
hey kids.
Ahh. I'm bored and can't sleep.. waiting for my madre, so I'll just be a fucking faggot and post on livejournal. Buuuut I don't really haev shit to talk about.
Except that I've been sick and missed the last three days of school.
and I'm about to go back home into a shit storm for staying out last night.
But this coming up weekend, everyone. I'm not chilling. I have to take care of shit at home
Sorry. You can get crunk without Kortney with a K. Promise. <3
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[10/24/2005 @ 12:49am] |
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mood |
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busy |
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music |
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heavy heavy low low- theres a bat |
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I think people got a little lost on the its 2005. hahahahahahaha.
I love life right now.
this weekend was fun as fuck.
vodka//cops//hickies//old friends//new friends//<333333
I think a certain someone needs to not dissapear, come back to school, and chill. because I miss him, and his assholeness.<3
I also don't know why the fuck I waste my time with this piece of shit. No one reads it, actually I bet people who don't like me or knew me at one point, lurk the fuckout of this.. hahaha and if you do. fucking comment you faggots. thanks.
DON'T BITCH OUT.
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[10/12/2005 @ 6:52pm] |
Leave your name and
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a liquor i'd take a shot of with you. (stolen from Brian)
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered or liked about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal.
<33.
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| best day in a while. |
[10/11/2005 @ 9:57pm] |
I loved today so much
Best friends + Journey + gorgeous boy at the mall saying he liked my hair + dancing in the car + eating chinese + stopping by the spot to see yonnie but his ass wasnt there... andd.. blockbuster!
youknow the best way to ruin a perfect day?
Come home.
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[10/07/2005 @ 4:52pm] |
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mood |
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dorky |
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music |
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saves the day. |
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this isnt to offend anyone. I seriously love you all. So please don't bitch and cry to me. Stephen did one of these and it amused me. So I figured I would do one too.
I'm not saying who these are directed to, each one is to someone different.
- You say you hate highschool drama, but you surround yourself in it. Stop lying, you fucking love it. Your life would be boring without it and you know it.
- You say that you care? Yet I'm a piece of shit? And you hate talking to me? Then explain to me please, why the fuck you expect me to try for you? And then when I don't talk to you.. you get mad.
- You'll eventually get fucked over, and I'll still be there for you. But you should really stop being sketchy and figure out what it is you want. Because you'll say one thing one minute and 3o minutes later act completely different. What the fuck is that about?
- You also think highschool bullshit is.. well.. shit. Take a look at who you "love." Enough said.
- I'm not a good friend? Well how is that? Maybe you should set the aluminum foil down, sleep a little and then when you wake up and your friends are tryingt o pass the pipe to you again.. ask yourself who has ALWAYS tried to help you better yourself.. Sorry.
- You think you're cool, slick and hip, and that you can play girls. Well sir, you suck at it. And I'm tired of hearing peopel cry to me about it. And you should probably come up with your own shit and not copy people.
- I absolutely adore you. I'm so very happy we chill again. But don't be so desperate. Relationships are gay anyways. Fuck madd hoes. You know you can. hahaha.
- You claim to be lonely, but you're so cynical. I know that mostly everyone sucks, but give people a chance and live a little bit.
- You're a joke, I don't understand why you fuck everyone over.
sdfjdklfjsdklfsd
wine and homework.
Fun shit.
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| long day at school. |
[10/03/2005 @ 3:59pm] |
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mood |
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 hopeful |
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music |
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Kill Hannah. |
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Do you ever see people and wonder, "What the hell happened to you?" I do.
Things to do today
Run a mile- did.
Do some homework- about to do.
Take a nap - wee <3
Run another mile. - hopefully.
Finish homework - have to do.
Take a shower - mmm <3
I'm going to get in shape. I'm getting fat and its most unattractive. I hate it, I don't even care if people think I'm gross, its just that it makes me feel bad about myself. And I hate that. So I'm going to like stop eating and run alot. I've been saying that, but I'm actually going to now. I know not eating is really unhealthy, but whatever. I'm superficial and I'd rather be skinny than healthy. Lol. If I cared about being healthy I wouldnt drink as much. Speaking of drinking, Cameron and Wes' 18th birthday party is this saturday. Oh shit son! I'm going to get trashed... suprise suprise. I'd like to see ap icture of my liver one day.
Last night, I was in such a weird mood, but then I took a valume. And it made me feel much better. It just put me in slow motion for a while. But I had the best night sleep I've had in a while once I fell asleep. Thats not good. I have to take crazy medicine to sleep? Bleh. Word. That's cool I guess.
Hah, I need a boy. One that doesnt confuse me. Or atleast someone who's there. I used to not want one at all, and tommorow I probably won't agian. But today I do. I could have a boyfriend ow. If I truly wanted. But right now he hates me but swears he still cares and wants me to try. Hah.. but I've honestly never had to try with a boy..so that whole idea sounds like hogwash kind of. But maybe, we'll see.. it depends on a few things and I'll have to see what that ends up being.. probably the same thing it is now. Nothing really. fun.
Why is it that school is so ugh. We all claim to be different. Thats the biggest bad joke I've ever heard. I'm no different than anyone. We all look the same. With the same hair, make up, and clothes. Maybe not everyone, but our groups all definitely are the same. Which isnt really a bad thing I guess.. people with similar interest are drawn together. But since that is the case.. stop claiming to be different. There is the occasional boy or girl who actually is different andg ets ridiculed for it, and called a nerd or loser.. or other equally mean things. Not saying that I don't. I'm just simply pointing it out. But basically this is what I have to say. Shut the fuck up with all of your 'non confomist' shit. Because being a non conformist.. or putting off that appearance has become a trend.. making you a conformist. No one cares how cool we are, how our hair looks, what music we like, and definitely not who's music is better. And none of it fucking matters. We're killing ourselves trying to be better, prettier, skinnier, more scene, more hip, more fucking anything.. When the truth is.. we won't see these people in 2 years, and out of highschool no one gives a fuck about our cool points. So why even try? Go out, do what makes you the most happy. We should be ourselves. I go out, I drink, I do drugs, and yes I have sex. I don't care who knows, or what you think of it. I used to, a little. But now. Whatever. That's me and all of your unintelligent comments or opinions, aren't affecting me and you should really save your breath. Sure you could tell half of highschool and they'd LOVE to hear it. Because its highschool and we thrive on gossip. But ask me in 2 years.. and I still probably won't care. Highschools simply not my scene.
I'm ranting and bitching basically about nothing, and something i can't fix, or even want to. So I'm done. Comment anyways though. Stephen will.. you always do! lol. Since everyone else is far too cool.
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[10/02/2005 @ 8:25pm] |
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mood |
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calm |
] |
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music |
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the tv in the other room. |
] |
Last night was fun. Went to a party at amerisuites. But it got interupted because this bitch ass girl got naked in the pool and wouldn't get out when Dylan told her too. So we got the cops called on us. Stupid whore. Bleh. But other than that.. it was full of alcohol, baby making x 4, and rukus. I got to party with people I haven't drank with in a whiiilE. So I was happy. Then we had to leave and we went to ybor to see if anyone was outside of it. No such luck though. I don't really remember much of that ride. So we decided to go to perry's instead. Sketchyness.. Whatever.
Theennn. This morning, woke up.. got abused teh fuck out of by Nick. I have bruises all over me. I'm going to have to kill him. Lol. No, I'm kidding. It was fun, I don't care at all. This perfectly shaped bite mark on my arm is ridiculous though. Seven year old :P Hahaa. boy's are silly as hell. Or.. I'm probably just an idiot.
School tommorow. I don't want to go. Wtf. But exams are this week. So it won't be too bad.
So, I don't understand something. I do it, and I know people who do it. I've seen people do it without knowing that they're doing it. Why is it, that when you realize taht you might start to like someone. You push them away? Or start being a bitch/asshole to them. I know I do it. Because.. thats me. And closeness to a boy is never good. Unless they actually approach it the right way.. or atleast talk about it and let me know they like me. Confusing and probably pointless.. thats what that is. lol. So I'm basically over it I think.
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| oh shit son. |
[09/28/2005 @ 9:40pm] |
TOMMOROW I'M ALLOWED TO GO BACK TO BRITTNEY AND COURTNEYS!!!!I'M FUCKING EXCITED! It's been like 5 monthes and that used to be like my other house. Seriously I miss them/that house so much. Ah. I'm fucking thrilled.
But aside from that, yeah.. thats pretty much it. I have a french exam tommorow, which I'm not going to do well on. And a Chemistry test. And mrs. Jackson can fuck off. I hate that nig. Seriously. She fucking wouldnt let me come to class without a late pass.. so I go see mr. Nelson and he says he won't give me one. To go to student affairs, where they tell me they won't give me one to go find Mrs. Gaut.. and she says SHE won't give me one to go back to student affairs. So I go back.. and they say no.. and I fianlly was like listen. SOMEONES giving me a god damn pass, or I acn't go back to class. It's really not that difficult. And they finally gave me one. Fucking idiots..
alright. Leave me random comments telling me how amazing I am. Except then you'd be lying <3
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| <33. |
[09/26/2005 @ 11:17am] |
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| tiiired and full. |
[09/24/2005 @ 12:43pm] |
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music |
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from first to last.. and dylan and nick talking SHIT |
] |
Broke my phone. Who the fuck does that.. Ugh.
So last night- dylan picked me up with nick.. went to the skate park.. got faded.. saw kids I haven't seen in a while... people told me weird things about how I shouldn't talk to a certain someone. Fuck that shit, I'll talk to who I want. =] Wack ass kids. Thennn.. went to some party.. but tom and them left.. so we left a little later. Came home, tresppassed into the junk yard, cut my hand... came back to richards.. and um slept.
Today- sitting at dylans.. while nicks drawing some picture and dylans sleeping. and I just ate eggs that made me feel sick. Maybe nick can't cook. Hahah kidding, I always feel sick after I eat. I'm dying. =\ Later on is Mike's Birthday.. whaaat?!<3
My lesbian sister comes home thursday to live here agian. i'm so fucking excited. I love her so much. I'm getting a true best friend back.. :D
Last night, this lady who I've known since I was like 11.. got hit by a mexican while she was on a motorcycle.. they did a hit and run. And she got airlifted out.. I don't think she's going to make it. But I haven't heard anything yet. I'm not home so I can't really get all upset about it.. But I'm going to call when I get home. That's so fucking shitty. =[
K, well.. I'm going to go I guess. this shit was real random. <333
Call me nigs.
2353182. <3333
dylan and nick are shit talkers. and I'll kill them both.
Except I'm kidding.
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| fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck... school. |
[09/20/2005 @ 6:34am] |
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mood |
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exhausted |
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I hate it, I really do. Jeans, a 5th grade t-shirt, hair pulled up and some k icks.. I find myself spending less and less time getting ready each morning. What's the point? You see the same kids everyday, they know what you look like when you're all ready and done up. Why waste your time getting ready each day? It's fucking tiresome. I'm in a constant emotionless state at school everyday. I'd be perfectly content if no one talked to me, which is sad. Because not caring about anything is a horrible feeling. I just hate being there, I know its necessary. So I go, because if i don't I'll be uneducated and stuck in this uneducated town for the rest of my life, and the worst part.. I'll actually fit in. Considering I can't imagine the literacy rate to be very high around here.
I spent no lie a good 6 hours on homework last night, and guess what? I didn't even finish. I didn't get to study for my test, I didn't start to prepare my presentation for ap, I didn't finish my notebook, and I didn't study for my chemistry test. Who's going to fail this year? Me. Schools so hard this year, I'm extremely overloaded. And the constant pressure to do well, because not doing well is unacceptable, make its 10x harder. But I did it to myself because I think electives are a waste of time. So therefore I have all academic classes and they're kicking my ass. My life revolvse around homework these days. Except on the weekends when I go out with friends and drink, etc.
But I need to go put shoes on and get something to eat because I'm hungry. I'm so tired that I'll probably sleep in 1st period. And insane Mrs. Cheatham will freak out. Oh well, cry lady. I really don't care.
<3 another day of people talking shit. Yay!
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[09/18/2005 @ 10:32pm] |
My dress hoes. I love it. Don't buy it. I'll cut a bitch :P
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| earllyy |
[09/17/2005 @ 9:25am] |
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mood |
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cold |
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music |
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Nothing. |
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It's like 9:25.. so fucking early. I'm going shopping with my mom todayy. then hopefully hanging out with nick tonight. :D but we'll see.
! It's fucking cold yo!
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| <33 woah oh oh woah oh. |
[09/16/2005 @ 8:25pm] |
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mood |
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cold |
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music |
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some song by the warriors.. |
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I've come to the conclusion that Henry David Thoreau was genius. And if we all lived life as he thought we should. We'd all actually be pretty happy.
" I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberatly, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary."
... brilliant. Seriously I love it. Just ponder it maybe?
Some other good ones that I liked..
" I please myself with imagining a State at least which can afford to be just to all men, and to treat the individual with respect as a neighbor; which even would not think it inconsistent with its own repose if a few were to live aloof from it, not meddling wiht it, nor embraced by it, who fulfilled all duties of neighbors and fellow men."
Okay... so now that you guys can read those and be like damn, those are good.. lol.. I'd like to tell you what my mom did today. I was so pissed at her.. but regardless of that, this is probably the nicest thing I've heard of in a while. And it reminds me that everyone has goodness in them.
So.. she went to this store that we usually go to, and they know us.. etc. She was getting out of the car, and this old poorly dressed man walks up to her.. and was like."Excuse me miss, do you happen to have any spare change?" Well my mom didn't have any ones so she gave him a 5$ bill and told him to keep it. He said thank you and asked her if she was sure? She said yes, that its not problem.. and he thanked her again and said he could buy a sandwich and a drink with it. So my mom smiled and continued into the store.. and asked the guy who always works there if he knew the old man outside the store. The guy who works there said yes, that hes usually out there and that he doesn't bother anyone. So my mom asked him, what does he usually buy in here? And the worker guy said that he usually buys sandwiches, drinks, dogfood? and such.. So my mom then asked. Does he ever buy alcohol? And the worker said no. So my mom, being nice.. gave the worker a 20$ bill.. and told him to let the old man buy whatever he would like in the store.. and that if he went over the 20$ to call her..and she'd come pay what he went over. But to not let him spend the 5$.. that she gave him. Of course the worker asked her if she was sure, and she said yes and left.
I honestly think that was the nicest thing ever. I mean.. I would really like to see the reaction of the old man. I don't know. It just made me smile. =]
Some people aren't as blessed as others. Some people are disgustingly rich and don't realize how lucky they are. But they are usually the most unhappy and ignorant. I think probably the most down to earth people are bums.. because they see life bluntly. Not blurred by money or posessions.. just life. And the hardships and hurt in it. But they also can find joy in what we would call a measly 5$. That'd we'd probably spend on something ridiculous like a chicken selects at mcdonalds that we only eat 1/4 of and throw away.. or maybe even a box of blunts. When someone actually would bust some knee caps for that hardly eaten chicken selects that we so easilly tossed away. I think maybe we should just think about that and take it into consideration. Of course that sounds like the right thing to do in writing, but the actual taking action part.. isn't so easy. And I myself probably won't do it. However... I can say that I'll try?
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drugs_and_love's journal
